Rebuilding Your Life

Good morning,

I am sitting out on my front porch relishing in the cool breeze after the heat wave we have had. Though I would never wish summer days away, there is always something crisp and clean slate feeling about the arrival of Fall. Maybe it is the New England girl in me that loves the colors of the leaves, the arrival of a new school year, or just the freshness of the air in my lungs that always offers transformation. Nothing screams “begin” more than the Fall season.

As I embark on another new chapter in my life I have been reflecting on the many beginnings that I have had over the years. And, there is no bigger beginning than when I literally set out, babies in tow, to rebuild my life. Brick by brick I have learned many lessons along the way.

If you are beginning an entirely new chapter in your life and rebuilding, welcome to this journey. It has it’s hard days and it’s soft moments, but I assure you, if you stay focussed, there is peace on the other side.

I was asked recently what my top 3 tips would be for someone beginning again. As if offering tips when you are dealing with life’s wreckage is even remotely close to what someone needs. But alas, we have become accustomed to tidying things up in a bow to present it in a more appealing and digestible way.

Either way, I hope you will find these points applicable to your current circumstance.

1. Make EVERYTHING Healing: When I first set out to rebuild my life after the collapse of my marriage after birthing my daughters I didn’t even know where to begin. I just knew that I had to start somewhere and be more committed than ever to the healing process. I would make dancing in the kitchen healing. Feeding my children and myself became sacred. Having deep and meaningful conversations with friends was restorative. But most of all, I began to make the relationship I had with myself the most healing and cherished relationship I had in my life.

2. Everything Is A Choice; I CHOSE US: Choice allows us to focus and discern between what we want to do and don’t want to do. Not every choice we make feels good, but it empowers us regardless. I used the mantra every day, I CHOOSE US. This meant, our love, our home, our friends, our food, our movement, our life. This allowed me to choose where I directed my energy. It became a conscious awareness of where I wanted to belong, how I wanted to feel, and what I needed to set boundaries around so that I could preserve my energy. When something feels out of our control, which most things are, choosing our response instead of having a reaction is what restores our power. In this world we live in there are so many distractions, so many forces, tirelessly pulling at our energy and moving us away from ourselves and our actual homeostatic state of being. My being, i’ve come to know, wishes to live in peace and harmony. I cannot remain in that state if I am not choosing where to focus my energy, it’s not sustainable for any of us.

3. Embody Self-Love (The Rebel Kind): Radical, and I mean radical, self-love is required to rebuild one’s life. We are not taught self-love, so this does not come easily. Self-sacrifice in this world is revered, to the point of one’s own detriment and depletion. Self-love, requires the bare naked truth of who we are to nurture ourselves in a way that we have never loved before. Well, perhaps we know how to love others in this way, but to love ourselves in this regard is a whole different flex of muscles. This act requires the previous two steps, to make it all healing, and to choose. To choose ourselves in the midst of chaos, noise, and energetic pollution. To love ourselves, to love our past, to love what makes us who we are, to heal, and to step forward into our lives IS a requirement.

So, these are my top 3 “tips”. Super easy, right? I know… hard as hell. They are a daily practice. A commitment to the self to rebuild and allow for expansion. You deserve to live the full breath of your life. Allow yourself to breathe again.

If you are beginning a new chapter, welcome. If you are in the middle of the rebuild, keep going. If you have rebuilt and are settling back into your skin again, welcome back. Wherever you are on your journey, just know that you are in the right place.

Stay well and wild out there.

Let’s rise,

ah

If you haven’t registered for this Fall’s chapter of Women Who Rise: Finding A New Way To Stand, check out the info here:

Take A New Path

I took a new path today on my walk. Something led me down a different side of the river than I usually go. I’m not sure what the sign said that was posted, but what’s that expression, “Always Trespass?”

The birds were chirping. The buds on the trees are beginning to bloom. Spring is most assuredly upon us. So at the very least, always trespass for the beauty that Mother Nature provides.

I have been on a new path in life lately. I would like to think I am being lead more in the direction of my soul than in previous years. I feel calmer, more at ease with myself, and I do think with that comes more intention and focus. The ability to see clearly is always hard when you are in constant chaos. At this point, I am no longer distracted by the things that once stole my vitality. The dysfunction, the noise, or the habitual seeking. I am not interested. I am however intrigued by what is true for me right now. What is right for me right now. I am invested in presence.

How about you? Have you been down some not so graceful rabbit holes lately? I think life has been upended for so many people the last few years and we are all ready to catch our breath and float on our backs for a while.

Life transitions can be difficult, even painful. Leaving the shell of our old selves to jump into the skin of our new versions, oof, tender isn’t it? It takes time to embody who we are becoming. To let go of things that no longer serve our heart and soul is a brave act.

What does courage feel like to you?

For me, courage has felt like self-expression. For someone who grew up not being able to express emotions or even identify how I felt, self-expression can feel incredibly vulnerable and even paralyzing sometimes. I promise you though, it does get better. The more you are honest with yourself, the easier it becomes to do so.

Let’s travel together, shall we?

Let’s rise,

ah

Courage for me now is the embodiment of the woman that I am. We live in a society that would like me to be anything but that, but I’ll be damned if I try to live by any of those norms! What I would like to invite into my world is my own expectations of self. The work to stay in my own lane, eyes on my own paper, and do as I have come here to do. That’s what this chapter is. That is the path I am walking on. And damn, it feels good.

Your next version of YOU is waiting...

Your next version of yourself is waiting for you to jump fully into her skin. To embody her breath, her voice, and her purpose. In other words, your soul is calling.

Have you entered a new chapter of your life and are looking around going, “what the fuck just happened?” I get it, I have been there. I think we can all safely say that life didn’t go according to plan, especially the last few years.

What I do know though, is that you have the power to choose how you show up for it. You have the power to choose your energy like you choose your sweatpants for the day. Sure, you can sit in resistance or fear because it is comfortable, OR you can choose to lean into the unknown and decide for yourself which direction to go in.

I know that each new chapter brings with it the beliefs of the old. Perhaps these are beliefs about your worth or who you are that you have held onto for far too long. Or maybe they are beliefs about your age. Ever heard someone say, “I am too old for that” or “I am too old to start that new career”. These are beliefs that limit your next steps, that keep you from your next chapter.

Your inner saboteur would have you thinking that you aren’t good enough, you’re too old, you aren’t qualified, you’re uneducated in that field, you’re not worthy, you’re not deserving… and so on. Or, my favorite, “who do you think you are?” Also known as being too big for those damn britches. Who the fuck decided the size of these britches?

But if you are reading this, then you have a fire within you that is waiting and craving for change. There is something in you, a part of yourself, that is screaming to let go of what is no longer serving you and embrace the possibility of what’s next.

Offer yourself a new way. A new way to think. To breathe in your body. To speak. To create. You have come so far. I believe in you. Keep going…

Let’s rise,

ah

*If you are ready to jump in, join Women Who Rise: Finding A New Way To Stand. There is information and ways to register on my website.*