Good morning,
I am sitting out on my front porch relishing in the cool breeze after the heat wave we have had. Though I would never wish summer days away, there is always something crisp and clean slate feeling about the arrival of Fall. Maybe it is the New England girl in me that loves the colors of the leaves, the arrival of a new school year, or just the freshness of the air in my lungs that always offers transformation. Nothing screams “begin” more than the Fall season.
As I embark on another new chapter in my life I have been reflecting on the many beginnings that I have had over the years. And, there is no bigger beginning than when I literally set out, babies in tow, to rebuild my life. Brick by brick I have learned many lessons along the way.
If you are beginning an entirely new chapter in your life and rebuilding, welcome to this journey. It has it’s hard days and it’s soft moments, but I assure you, if you stay focussed, there is peace on the other side.
I was asked recently what my top 3 tips would be for someone beginning again. As if offering tips when you are dealing with life’s wreckage is even remotely close to what someone needs. But alas, we have become accustomed to tidying things up in a bow to present it in a more appealing and digestible way.
Either way, I hope you will find these points applicable to your current circumstance.
Make EVERYTHING Healing: When I first set out to rebuild my life after the collapse of my marriage after birthing my daughters I didn’t even know where to begin. I just knew that I had to start somewhere and be more committed than ever to the healing process. I would make dancing in the kitchen healing. Feeding my children and myself became sacred. Having deep and meaningful conversations with friends was restorative. But most of all, I began to make the relationship I had with myself the most healing and cherished relationship I had in my life.
Everything Is A Choice; I CHOSE US: Choice allows us to focus and discern between what we want to do and don’t want to do. Not every choice we make feels good, but it empowers us regardless. I used the mantra every day, I CHOOSE US. This meant, our love, our home, our friends, our food, our movement, our life. This allowed me to choose where I directed my energy. It became a conscious awareness of where I wanted to belong, how I wanted to feel, and what I needed to set boundaries around so that I could preserve my energy. When something feels out of our control, which most things are, choosing our response instead of having a reaction is what restores our power. In this world we live in there are so many distractions, so many forces, tirelessly pulling at our energy and moving us away from ourselves and our actual homeostatic state of being. My being, i’ve come to know, wishes to live in peace and harmony. I cannot remain in that state if I am not choosing where to focus my energy, it’s not sustainable for any of us.
Embody Self-Love (The Rebel Kind): Radical, and I mean radical, self-love is required to rebuild one’s life. We are not taught self-love, so this does not come easily. Self-sacrifice in this world is revered, to the point of one’s own detriment and depletion. Self-love, requires the bare naked truth of who we are to nurture ourselves in a way that we have never loved before. Well, perhaps we know how to love others in this way, but to love ourselves in this regard is a whole different flex of muscles. This act requires the previous two steps, to make it all healing, and to choose. To choose ourselves in the midst of chaos, noise, and energetic pollution. To love ourselves, to love our past, to love what makes us who we are, to heal, and to step forward into our lives IS a requirement.
So, these are my top 3 “tips”. Super easy, right? I know… hard as hell. They are a daily practice. A commitment to the self to rebuild and allow for expansion. You deserve to live the full breath of your life. Allow yourself to breathe again.
If you are beginning a new chapter, welcome. If you are in the middle of the rebuild, keep going. If you have rebuilt and are settling back into your skin again, welcome back. Wherever you are on your journey, just know that you are in the right place.
Stay well and wild out there.
Let’s rise,
ah
If you haven’t registered for this Fall’s chapter of Women Who Rise: Finding A New Way To Stand, check out the info here: