Who are you?
It is hard to ask this question without beginning it with, “but first, who did you have to be?”
The age old wisdom of “be who you are” is a hard concept to grasp when you have been conditioned so far away from that truth. We receive familial conditioning away from who we authentically are from such a young age. We learn what is expected from us, how to act, when to speak or not speak, and more often than people are willing to speak about, there is trauma involved. We are then conditioned in school and societally about ways in which we will or won’t be received in this world. In summary, we learn how to survive.
There comes a time though, when we perhaps look in the mirror and feel this pang of sadness. Are we being who we are meant to be? I think life hits us upside the head literally and figuratively and pushes us to ask these questions. We find ourselves in patterns or relationships we no longer want, jobs we don’t want to do, or even entire careers that weren’t our idea to begin with.
So, then what? We begin unlearning.
This is a vulnerable process. To learn that we haven’t been true to ourselves can wreck us a bit. It unleashes this truth that can bring rise to a variety of emotions. We can feel tremendous grief for the child or person we were that couldn’t speak up or that endured pain. We can feel sadness that the life we have built isn’t the life that we want, and there can be shame in that too. We are taught to want certain things. You have heard it, white picket fence, career, 2.5 kids, probably a dog or at minimum a fish.
Maybe you have found yourself restless. There is likely a buried truth. Something that you want more of or to do, hell, to create! Imagine if we allowed ourselves to discover rather than cover! Imagine.
There are some caveats to this discovery though, as coming to terms with how we feel usually requires some sort of action. It is why people generally steer clear from this kind of work, until they reach a breaking point. This kind of discovery elicits a lot of fear and fear loves to back baby back into the corner.
In order to become our fully embodied selves we have to be able to root into a sense of security, a sense of safety and agency. Sometimes this isn’t possible in our current situation. Finding a trusted professional can help, or a friend who has the capacity to hear your truth. To be a fully embodied version of ourselves requires us to be free. And damn if it isn’t hard in this world to claim our own freedom. There are so many oppositions to that voice of truth. I assure you though, you are meant to live and exist as the most divinely liberated version of yourself. It just may take some time to excavate them.
Acknowledge what is aching within you to be free.
Honor what you had to learn to survive and who you had to become to do so.
Write a letter to yourself, express the truth of how you feel.
Seek support if you are ready to create the changes in your life that you desire to.
You are not alone on your journey to becoming your authentic self. I am rooting for you.
Stay well out there.
Let’s rise,