I’ve been in a bit of a transition space lately, as the Fall season usually is for me. I spend my time clearing away clutter, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The girls and I have been baking muffins, cleaning up toys they no longer play with, building new furniture, and creating a cozy space. We are nesting, hibernating, and consciously or unconsciously gearing up for a cold winter. Seasons have been a metaphor lately, as they usually are for a lot of people. The change in weather, the change in us. Life alters us if we allow it to.
I have also been reflecting on relationships. Past, present, and the ones that transition with the seasons. I used to feel deeper sadness about relationships that transitioned like seasons, but now I am trying to admire them for what they are. I think they are the ones that come into our space to show us something we haven’t been paying attention to. Parts of ourselves we have been neglecting for whatever reasons. The parts of ourselves that we either like or dislike are what we tend to notice in others. I guess I am just trying to be more conscious of how I am showing up in the world. How I show up for the people that I love and how I show up for the world in general. Some days this is easier to do than others because we are human. We all have our days of beeping in traffic, doors slammed in our faces, and other’s less than charming disposition to reconcile with. I am trying to be patient with myself, kinder, more compassionate, gentle, and keep myself warm. Though I love the crispness of Fall, warmth is key to my being a charming human with a somewhat okay disposition.
I’ve been asking myself what I want and need, something I am trying to do more regularly, as it often goes out the window with the speed of life these days. Trying to slow down, because I recognize that I am born ram and general freight train do-er. Trying to relish in the mornings of snuggles, baking, the house smelling of pumpkin, and listening to Lizzo. We all want to feel “good as hell”. (Also secretly but not so secretly I have a deep desire for my children to respond that way in the future when asked how they feel.)
So, what makes us feel good as hell?
Today it is:
Hot tea
Pumpkin chocolate chip muffin tops (yep, we only make the tops)
Fleece blankets, snuggles, and coziness
Sitting at our new desk, the sunlight hitting me just right while typing
Always giggles
Always love
Writing
Music, constant music
A crisp walk
The smell of Fall
Slowing the F down - Also known as presence
A grateful heart
Trying…
What do you want?
What do you need?
What makes you feel good as hell?
Let’s rise,