I hope to marvel NOW.
It’s funny when I go for walks with my daughters, the array of comments and looks, I could write a book. Sometimes I am in the mood for such comments, sometimes not so much. However, the patterns are generally the same.
Older humans, let’s say above 70, always marvel at the beauty of twins and I think children in general. “What a blessing” I have heard countless times, and wholeheartedly agree with them. They talk and walk with us, sharing stories of their children. Even just today on our walk an older Italian gentlemen wished me “good luck” in both English and Italian, and he didn’t say it with sarcasm which is often the case. One women who I have walked with many times, since we seem to have the same routine, tells me about her twins. She has a daughter and twin boys. The wealthier boy is going to take care of her she tells me. I always laugh when she tells me this one. Her sentiment is always the same though, enjoy it now, it goes fast.
So, middle aged humans. They are a mix. Usually I am met with the “double trouble” or “good luck with that”. Either they didn’t enjoy parenthood or they know what lies ahead of me. Sometimes I think it is the latter. Just the same, it is not the same wisdom and awe that I feel from an older passerby.
Ah, my generation. They are HORRIFIED. I just receive stares. No comments really, perhaps they are just afraid to speak. Silenced by the site of twin toddlers. I am unsure of what the horror is, it is not like if you see twins you will have them. Its not catchy or anything. I have seen pregnant women grab their stomachs praying there is still only one child in there. I have even heard people sigh, “oh god” under their breath as they walk by.
I at least try to find humor in the smorgasbord of perceptions out there in the world of what it must be like to be me. So helpful, and again, sometimes not. However, I do appreciate the reminders I have received that my daughters are truly a blessing. I know I wouldn’t have it any other way. It reminds me to stay grounded and present in the now, because one day I too will be older, my kids will be grown, and I will look in awe of younger women hauling ass down the road with their double stroller on a mission for milk. I know I will smile. And, at the same time, I don’t want to wait until I am older to marvel at the beauty of this blessing in my life, so I choose to marvel now. Marvel at their light, energy, and humor. Marvel at their intense emotions and ability to throw a full blown tantrum in 30 seconds. Marvel at their giggles. I just want to live gracefully enough, slow enough, to marvel.
Just, marvel.
Look at it all through your wiser future lens, it is always clearer.
Let’s rise,
